{"id":67,"date":"2023-06-21T02:50:52","date_gmt":"2023-06-21T02:50:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/?p=67"},"modified":"2024-02-20T21:24:39","modified_gmt":"2024-02-20T21:24:39","slug":"bloodbossbabes-by-rachel-kolar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/bloodbossbabes-by-rachel-kolar\/","title":{"rendered":"#BloodBossBabes by Rachel Kolar"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Originally published by Podcastle, March 2021.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey Girl!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Amy Shearer (serpentsisteramy@sotesh.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: Heather McBride (mcheather@ymail.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey, girlfriend! Love looking at your beautiful family on Insta. And congrats on getting into grad school\u2014that\u2019s HUGE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Furthering your education while raising a family takes so much dedication, and that\u2019s why I think you\u2019d be AMAZING on my team. For the past six months, I\u2019ve been offering blood libations to Sotesh, Mother of Serpents, and let me tell you, it has changed my life! I get to set my own schedule, bleeding the unbelievers when it\u2019s convenient for me. I have the security of knowing that when Sotesh comes in Her glory, I\u2019ll be spared the worst of Her wrath. And She gives Her believers THE BEST gifts! Just last week, I hit Green Level and was blessed with the ability to shed my soft warm-blood skin. Check out these before and after pics\u2014my acne is COMPLETELY gone! #CobraClear #WhiteheadsAreForWarmbloods<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m looking to pick up some acolytes, and you\u2019d be a natural. Let me know if you\u2019re interested! And give my love to Jason and the kids. <3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XOXOXO,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Re: Re: Hey Girl!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Amy Shearer (serpentsisteramy@sotesh.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: Heather McBride (mcheather@ymail.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LOLOL! No no nooooooo, the Sisterhood of Sotesh is NOT a demonic murder cult. Murder is ILLEGAL and I would never be part of something like that. I don\u2019t know where Jason gets those ideas! He must have heard about groups like the Order of the Bleeding Maw. They\u2019re <\/em>a demonic murder cult, and they make legitimate religions like the Sisterhood look bad. We\u2019re just a badass network of women empowering women to empower the Devourer of All Flesh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jason should be all for this, though, because joining the Sisterhood will help your whole family! I know how lonely the mom thing can be, and it\u2019s been SUCH a support for me to have all these awesome blood boss babes on my side. You can\u2019t take care of the fam if you can\u2019t take care of yourself, right mama? Plus, your blood libations can earn all sorts of treats and blessings for the kiddos! My little Paisleigh just started tasting the air, and baking cookies with her has never been so fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me know when you\u2019re ready to make your first sacrifice!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XOXOXO,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Re: Just a few questions<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Amy Shearer (serpentsisteramy@sotesh.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: Heather McBride (mcheather@ymail.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey girl! You are SO SMART to ask all these questions\u2014this is why I\u2019ve always admired you. <3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had a lot of questions at first, too, but joining was SO worth it. I remember what my Sunday mornings used to look like\u2014running around, putting the kids in clothes that they hated, and ignoring them for an hour, right? And they couldn\u2019t play soccer because of all the Sunday morning games. But with Sotesh, I get to set my own worship hours, and all that is over! I wouldn\u2019t trade the friends Paisleigh and Jaxtyn made in soccer for anything. #GoHuntsvilleHatchlings<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\u2019s not just the scheduling, it\u2019s the peace of mind. I go to sleep every night knowing that when Sotesh comes in Her glory, my fam won\u2019t be devoured in flames along with the other soft-skins. What kind of mama would I be if I couldn\u2019t shed a few drops for my kiddos\u2019 futures?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell you what, you take all the time you need to think about it. You\u2019re a smart lady, and I know you\u2019ll be happy no matter what you choose!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XOXOXO,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Serpent Sistahs!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Amy Shearer (serpentsisteramy@sotesh.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: Heather McBride (mcheather@ymail.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

EEEEEEEEEEEEEK! OMG, I\u2019m SO EXCITED to have you on board, hun! You are going to ROCK this!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve attached everything you need for your first libation. I know a pint sounds like a lot, but really, it\u2019s what the Red Cross takes, and people donate blood all the time, right? And even if you decide the Sisterhood isn\u2019t for you, your sacrifice still gets you those bitching fangs, and you don\u2019t HAVE to use them to drain blood for Her Dark Majesty. They\u2019re great for cutting through packing tape. And hey . . . Jason might find some fun uses for them, hot stuff!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One other important thing: Sotesh demands a libation on the night of each full moon. But good news\u2014it doesn\u2019t have to come from you! Go on social media and let everyone know how much the Sisterhood has changed your life, and your friends will be begging to throw in a pint! And you can always ask a gal pal out for coffee and see if she\u2019ll let you bite her at the end of the date. If she\u2019s a real friend, she\u2019ll be happy to open her veins in praises of Her All-Devouring Magnificence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Welcome aboard, serpent sistah!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XOXOXO,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Re: FIRST SACRIFICE!!!!!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Amy Shearer (serpentsisteramy@sotesh.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: Heather McBride (mcheather@ymail.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! OMG, you are SMASHING your goals like the skulls of Sotesh\u2019s prey! Don\u2019t knock it, sister\u2014a tablespoon is nothing to sneeze at, and I just KNOW that it\u2019s the first of many to come!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

About banking it until the next full moon: noooo! It sounds <\/em>like a good idea, but the smart thing is to invest it in blessings from the Great One. Once you\u2019ve gained more of Her gifts, you\u2019ll really <\/em>get those libations pouring out. Just a few more tablespoons and you\u2019ll have half a cup, which gets you those GORGEOUS golden slit-pupil eyes. The minute somebody sees them, they\u2019ll be dying to hear about how Sotesh has changed your life! Or if you REALLY want to treat yourself, you can pour out another pint and get the power to perform a sinuous, mesmeric dance. Can you imagine <\/em>how you\u2019ll be able to bring the blood cascading in when you can entice your prey like that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know you only have a tablespoon for now, but if you have to, you can put in just a little more from yourself until more comes in. Because more is <\/em>coming in! Believe in Sotesh, and She\u2019ll believe in you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XOXOXO,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Re: Coffee<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Amy Shearer (serpentsisteramy@sotesh.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: Heather McBride (mcheather@ymail.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ugh, no offense, but your sister sounds like a total neg-ferret! I can\u2019t BELIEVE she isn\u2019t supporting you! Your body makes half again as much blood when you\u2019re pregnant, so it\u2019s not like she can\u2019t spare a cup. I HATE when stupid cows like that won\u2019t support other women!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deep breaths, mama. You can do this before the full moon gets here! And even if you can\u2019t\u2014and that\u2019s a big if!\u2014it won\u2019t hurt to bleed yourself once, right? Just while you build up your base. Everybody has to do that sometimes\u2014it\u2019s no big.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speaking of your base: I know you\u2019re working the one-time libations, but have you been recruiting acolytes? Every new member of the Sisterhood helps to hasten the glorious coming of Sotesh, and some of the blood from your acolytes\u2019 libations gets credited to you, so you don\u2019t have to gather so much. Plus you get the coolest perks when you convert unbelievers! You saw my sweet Green Level scales. And only acolytes of Pink Level or higher will get thralls of our own when She comes in Her glory!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Go out and get bleeding. You\u2019ve got this!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XOXOXO,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Re: Worried<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Amy Shearer (serpentsisteramy@sotesh.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: Heather McBride (mcheather@ymail.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am not loving your attitude. Or Jason\u2019s attitude. I really think you\u2019re letting his negativity affect you. Look, I know the full moon is tomorrow, but it\u2019s one full moon.<\/em> It won\u2019t kill you to give a pint of your own this once. And while we\u2019re at it, I know you already shed for the golden eyes and the starter fangs, but why didn\u2019t you pony up for hibernation powers instead of the unhinging jaw? Another pint wouldn\u2019t feel like so much if you could sleep for a week after.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look, it\u2019s hard, but stay positive. Put on your makeup, drink your coffee, and don\u2019t let anyone tell you that you look pale. <\/em>Pale is a state of mind, hun! Remember, \u201cANEMIA\u201d stands for \u201cAllowing Negative Energy to Muzzle Ideas and Actions.\u201d Anyone who says you\u2019re pale is a jealous hater trying to drag you down, and if there\u2019s one thing Sotesh can\u2019t stand, it\u2019s haters. Just keep smiling and telling everyone how great the eyes and the jaw are. When they see how happy you are, they\u2019ll want to get in on it, too. Fake it till you make it, blood boss babe!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And seriously, stop listening to Jason. <\/em>Whatever you need to do to get that negativity out of your life, do it. You don\u2019t want Sotesh blaming you or the kids for his mood-hoovering, do you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XOXOXO,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Re: Second Thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Amy Shearer (serpentsisteramy@sotesh.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: Heather McBride (mcheather@ymail.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No no no no nooooooo, I did not tell you to pony up for hibernation powers right now. <\/em>I said that IF YOU HAD DONE IT BEFORE, you\u2019d be fine. OF COURSE now you don\u2019t have enough blood left for tonight, not even if you hibernate after. FFS, did you even read the welcome packet?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look, you have everything going for you right now. You\u2019re up to four powers! You should be getting sacrifices by the gallon! Stop blaming me and Sotesh for your bad choices. If you blame anyone, it should be Jason for not supporting you in your new life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Work it out. Do whatever you need to do. Whatever you need to do. <\/em>Or Sotesh will be PISSED.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XOXOXO,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Re: Heather<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Amy Shearer (mawmama@ootbm.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: Jen Bradshaw (jenniferbradshaw89@woohoo.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey girl!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So good to hear from you! OMG, I couldn\u2019t believe when I heard about Heather, either. And no, of course <\/em>I didn\u2019t tell her to bleed her husband to death! Some people just aren\u2019t cut out for the religious life. It\u2019s sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I mean, it doesn\u2019t help that the Sisterhood of Sotesh was kind of a racket. They\u2019re supposed to be all about sisterhood, but a snake is kind of phallic for that, amiright? Plus Sotesh\u2019s infernal gifts are total crap. I won\u2019t lie, I followed her for, like, five minutes, but my left fang broke right away. Lame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m so lucky I\u2019ve found a real <\/em>religion. Have you heard about the Order of the Bleeding Maw? I\u2019ve just joined, and it\u2019s been a life changer. Forget about all that Sotesh anemia nonsense\u2014when blood drips out of your family\u2019s mouths 24\/7, you always know where to find more if you\u2019re running low! And I\u2019m never going to need to buy lipstick again, which is amaaaaaaaaazing for my budget.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m super glad you reached out, because I\u2019m looking for a new acolyte to join my team. Let me know if you\u2019re interested\u2014you\u2019d be a natural!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XOXOXO,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

About Rachel Kolar<\/strong>
Rachel Kolar is the author of Mother Ghost: Nursery Rhymes for Little Monsters, and her fiction for adults has appeared in Podcastle, Metaphorosis, Crossed Genres, and several other professional and semipro zines. \u00a0A graduate of Kenyon College, Rachel lives with her husband and children in the Baltimore\/Washington area, where they enjoy hiking, playing overly complicated board games, and plotting new ways to terrorize trick-or-treaters. You can follow Rachel on Tumblr at @RachelKolar<\/a>, on Facebook at RachelKolarspecfic, or on Mastodon at RachelKolar@wandering.shop<\/a><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Originally published by Podcastle, March 2021. Hey Girl! From: Amy Shearer (serpentsisteramy@sotesh.com) To: Heather McBride (mcheather@ymail.com) Hey, girlfriend! Love looking at your beautiful family on Insta. And congrats on getting into grad school\u2014that\u2019s HUGE! Furthering your education while raising a family takes so much dedication, and that\u2019s why I think you\u2019d be AMAZING on my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","ph_site_tiers_settings":[[{"Price":"1.00","Tier_name":"Steadfast Supporter","Tier_id":"prod_PaAF3yLFLYGcEN","Selected":true,"Tier_status":"publish"},{"Price":"2.00","Tier_name":"Devoted Disciple","Tier_id":"prod_PaAHc7tOOYhGVR","Selected":true,"Tier_status":"publish"},{"Price":"3.00","Tier_name":"Arcane Advisor","Tier_id":"prod_PaAJ2JwZ9uMwgJ","Selected":true,"Tier_status":"publish"}]],"_ph_post_tiers":["prod_PaAF3yLFLYGcEN","prod_PaAHc7tOOYhGVR","prod_PaAJ2JwZ9uMwgJ"],"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[12],"class_list":["post-67","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-short-story"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=67"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":422,"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions\/422"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=67"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=67"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on.patronhunt.com\/thedreadmachine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=67"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}